Over the Christmas break I went to the cinema to see the new Ben Stiller movie 'The Secret Life of Walter Mitty'. I had high expectations of the film not only because I think Ben Stiller is one of the comedy greats our generation, but also because, even though I not seen the original 1947 film, I have often heard the phrase 'He/she is a bit of a Walter Mitty character' when referring to someone who is perceived as a fantasist or teller of tall stories. In fact I have used the phrase myself! So I was curious to see what this 'Walter Mitty character' thing is all about.
In one of the opening scenes to the film Mitty fantasises about rescuing the pet dog of a woman he is attracted to at work. Throughout the early part of the film he continues to enter into daydreams or fantasies, often blotting out what's going on around him in the real world, but ultimately he actually does live out his fantasies in a weird and wonderful plot that sees him travelling to Greenland, Iceland and Afghanistan in search of a missing photographic negative.
But this is not a film review, in case you were wondering. I believe that there is a serious point to the story. Not of Walter Mitty himself, and I won't spoil the film for you if you have not yet seen it. But that the concept of daydreaming or fantasising is worthy of further exploration
The Oxford English Dictionary definition of 'daydream' is: 'a series of pleasant thoughts that distract one's attention from the present'. According to Jonathan Schooler, a psychologist at the University of California, Santa Barbara, a person's mind is uninhibited when daydreaming, allowing the brain to make new associations and connections, both physically at a neurological level but also conceptually in terms of ideas creation. In other words, when individuals daydream and engage in abstract or make-believe thinking there is great potential that the act may give birth to creative ideas. Schooler suggests that "if our minds do not wander we would be greatly obstructed by what we are doing right now."
I believe that harnessing daydreaming in the right way can be hugely beneficial precisely for the reasons that Schooler identifies. That is it can lead to creativity, ambition, goal setting and ultimately success. Read any self help book and it will talk about 'visualising' and I don't believe that constructive daydreaming is any different from this. As legendary boxer Mohamed Ali once said: "Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them - a desire, a dream, a vision." He also said "The man who has no imagination has no wings." I've read stories about successful golfers who visualise the entire round before they play it. So why can't we, as charity professionals, learn from this and use some of these techniques ourselves?
So how about a later New Year's resolution, to spend more time daydreaming or visualising? It is actually possible to see the past, present and future by effective visualisation.
Try this simple exercise, when you are relaxed and on your own (preferably!):
1. Close your eyes and think of the future. Raise your right hand and point in the direction of the future as you see it. Open your eyes and observe the direction you are pointing.
2. Close your eyes again, with your right hand in position raise your left hand, and point in the direction of the past as you see it. Open your eyes again and observe where both of your hands are pointing.
3. Put your hands on your lap and close your eyes again.
4. Imagine a straight line between your past and your future. This is your time line.
5. Imagine yourself doing something pleasant in the recent past. Picture this in your head. Can you see yourself as if you are an observer, or can you see this through your own eyes? Try to see the scene as if you are an observer, see if you can see your face or the back of your head.
6. Now do the same in the future by moving along the timeline.
7. Once you have that image in your head, now move yourself back and forth from the past into the future.
8. Once you have done that a few times, imagine that you have a birds eye view of the you in the past and the you in the future.
9. Now come back to the present and open your eyes.
The human mind has no boundaries. Once you have practiced this kind of visualisation, you can improve the power of your creativity by imagining that you have a remote control that will allow you to change the brightness, contract, colour, volume, etc. of what you can see. This can increase the intensity of your experience, and make it seem ever more real.
Now I know this kind of thing is not for everyone, and some people simply cannot see pictures in their heads, no matter how hard they try. But as it is the New Year, why not give it a try? After all what is there to lose? If you can imagine seeing yourself in the past doing something as mundane as doing the ironing, cleaning your teeth, whatever and also imagine seeing yourself doing something similarly mundane in the future, why would it not be possible to do this for something far more important, like what job you see yourself doing in a year's time?
Have fun, daydream and be a bit more like Walter Mitty! Happy new Year!
Showing posts with label NLP. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NLP. Show all posts
Friday, 3 January 2014
Monday, 28 October 2013
Goal setting through well formed outcomes
I recently spoke at the Fundraising Conference of a well known charity, and in about 90 minutes I managed to cover a whole load of stuff about personal and professional development. Most importantly I spoke about the need to take personal responsibility, as the fact is if you don't no one else will. During the session I spent time with the group (80 or 90 of them) doing some goal setting, but I would like to have spent more time, as I think this is an area that many people find difficult.
I thought I would share here what I might have covered if we had had that time.
One type of goal setting that I have found really helpful recently is based on the concept of 'well-formed outcomes'. Developing such outcomes helps you define a goal and how to reach that goal. You can do this as part of a process with a coach or mentor, your line manager, or with one of your team.
There are a number of different stages:
1. Set the goal or outcome in a positive way and at a high level
For example if your goal is: 'I don't want to be negative about x any more', that is not a positive goal. If you rephrase it: 'I want to be always positive about x in the future.' that is a bit more like it. Another example. If you have a fear (or even undesired nerves) of public presentation (many people do!) your positive goal might be: 'I want to feel relaxed and confident when speaking in public.'
2. How will you know when your goal is achieved from a sensory perspective?
We all know how we feel physically when we achieve something. But have you ever thought about breaking this down into what you see, hear, feel, smell or taste? Taking the example from above, how do you feel when you speak in public? Do you feel sick, do you need to go to the loo, do you see a sea of faces out there all looking critically at you? Do your shoulders feel tense, do you clench your fists, do you shake? Does your head feel dizzy? Does your sight go blurred?
Well these are some of the potential negative sensory feelings. But how will you feel when you have achieved your goal? How will you know when you feel relaxed and calm. How will your breathing feel? Will you have a sense of clarity that allows you to focus on your audience? How will your stomach feel? How will your posture feel? How will the sense of satisfaction manifest itself in your body when you deliver a fantastic presentation? Imagine those feelings now for your particular goal.
3. Break down the steps that will help you get to your goal or outcome
It is your responsibility (and yours only) to ensure you achieve your goal. You may have support along the way, but it is ultimately down to you. So how will you do this? Think about the small steps that will help you get to your goal. When you break things down into small steps things suddenly seem more achievable.
Continuing with the example of having a goal of being a calm and confident presenter, what are the steps you can take. How can you master the content? How can you test the content? How can you test the style of delivery? How can you make your visuals and examples and anecdotes better? How can you take steps to relax before and during the presentation? How can you measure your success? How will you feel during and after the presentation?
4. Think about the context in which you want to achieve your goal or outcome
Carrying on with the example we have already used, in which context will you be delivering presentations? Is it for a wedding speech, speaking to colleagues at an internal event or meeting, speaking to people you don't know, e.g. at a conference? Where will you be when you make this speech? make your outcome context specific; it will help make it more achievable.
5. Think about the positive effects of the current situation and the consequences of reaching your outcome
Let's take a different example here. Say you are thinking about applying for a promotion to become a manager or head of a department. What are the things that you currently have that you might potentially lose? For example you might not to be able to interact with your current colleagues in the way you do now. You might not be able to go out and get drunk with them! You may no longer be seen as approachable. You may have less time for your family and friends.
You need to think about the positive effects of the status quo, what are the 'must haves' and what are the 'would likes' when you reach your goal? If you need to give up any of the 'must haves', what can you put in place to replace them?
6. Set your goals
Just do it!
7. Letter to yourself
One final tip you might find useful. This is about using the future to help you reach your goals. Have you ever tried writing a letter to yourself? Imagine, once you have achieved your goal, in one year, two year's time, whatever. What might you write to yourself?
"Dear Paul, It is 28th October 2014. I present regularly in public, and I am rated consistently as one of the top ten speakers. I have learnt how to relax before presenting. I feel relaxed, confident and at ease in front of an audience, large or small, and I am constantly aware of their presence and gain feedback from them."
Seeing yourself in the future helps make it real. By saying 'I am', you are more likely to achieve your goals.
8. In summary
Think about your goals. Think about how you might break them down in the way I have described above. This is a really useful way of assessing and setting your goals and putting together a road map of how to get there. I hope you have found this useful. Let me know who you get on!
I thought I would share here what I might have covered if we had had that time.
One type of goal setting that I have found really helpful recently is based on the concept of 'well-formed outcomes'. Developing such outcomes helps you define a goal and how to reach that goal. You can do this as part of a process with a coach or mentor, your line manager, or with one of your team.
There are a number of different stages:
1. Set the goal or outcome in a positive way and at a high level
For example if your goal is: 'I don't want to be negative about x any more', that is not a positive goal. If you rephrase it: 'I want to be always positive about x in the future.' that is a bit more like it. Another example. If you have a fear (or even undesired nerves) of public presentation (many people do!) your positive goal might be: 'I want to feel relaxed and confident when speaking in public.'
2. How will you know when your goal is achieved from a sensory perspective?
We all know how we feel physically when we achieve something. But have you ever thought about breaking this down into what you see, hear, feel, smell or taste? Taking the example from above, how do you feel when you speak in public? Do you feel sick, do you need to go to the loo, do you see a sea of faces out there all looking critically at you? Do your shoulders feel tense, do you clench your fists, do you shake? Does your head feel dizzy? Does your sight go blurred?
Well these are some of the potential negative sensory feelings. But how will you feel when you have achieved your goal? How will you know when you feel relaxed and calm. How will your breathing feel? Will you have a sense of clarity that allows you to focus on your audience? How will your stomach feel? How will your posture feel? How will the sense of satisfaction manifest itself in your body when you deliver a fantastic presentation? Imagine those feelings now for your particular goal.
3. Break down the steps that will help you get to your goal or outcome
It is your responsibility (and yours only) to ensure you achieve your goal. You may have support along the way, but it is ultimately down to you. So how will you do this? Think about the small steps that will help you get to your goal. When you break things down into small steps things suddenly seem more achievable.
Continuing with the example of having a goal of being a calm and confident presenter, what are the steps you can take. How can you master the content? How can you test the content? How can you test the style of delivery? How can you make your visuals and examples and anecdotes better? How can you take steps to relax before and during the presentation? How can you measure your success? How will you feel during and after the presentation?
4. Think about the context in which you want to achieve your goal or outcome
Carrying on with the example we have already used, in which context will you be delivering presentations? Is it for a wedding speech, speaking to colleagues at an internal event or meeting, speaking to people you don't know, e.g. at a conference? Where will you be when you make this speech? make your outcome context specific; it will help make it more achievable.
5. Think about the positive effects of the current situation and the consequences of reaching your outcome
Let's take a different example here. Say you are thinking about applying for a promotion to become a manager or head of a department. What are the things that you currently have that you might potentially lose? For example you might not to be able to interact with your current colleagues in the way you do now. You might not be able to go out and get drunk with them! You may no longer be seen as approachable. You may have less time for your family and friends.
You need to think about the positive effects of the status quo, what are the 'must haves' and what are the 'would likes' when you reach your goal? If you need to give up any of the 'must haves', what can you put in place to replace them?
6. Set your goals
Just do it!
7. Letter to yourself
One final tip you might find useful. This is about using the future to help you reach your goals. Have you ever tried writing a letter to yourself? Imagine, once you have achieved your goal, in one year, two year's time, whatever. What might you write to yourself?
"Dear Paul, It is 28th October 2014. I present regularly in public, and I am rated consistently as one of the top ten speakers. I have learnt how to relax before presenting. I feel relaxed, confident and at ease in front of an audience, large or small, and I am constantly aware of their presence and gain feedback from them."
Seeing yourself in the future helps make it real. By saying 'I am', you are more likely to achieve your goals.
8. In summary
Think about your goals. Think about how you might break them down in the way I have described above. This is a really useful way of assessing and setting your goals and putting together a road map of how to get there. I hope you have found this useful. Let me know who you get on!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)